


Just love me like I love you.

by ItsLikeMagic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 08:18:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11847621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsLikeMagic/pseuds/ItsLikeMagic
Summary: Killian Jones has been in love with his best friend, Emma Swan, since they first met but he's convinced she doesn't harbour the same feelings. It takes some powerful pain medication to prove him wrong. One-Shot. AU.





	Just love me like I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, people. So this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction and I've opted for something short to test the waters, as it were. I've read loads of the whole 'best friends who've been in love with each other' trope before and I actually love them so here's my attempt at just that. This is also unbeta'd so there may be some mistakes here and there.

His day had started out as it always did. After a particularly late breakfast and hours spent hunched over his laptop trying to finish the first draft of his latest novel, Killian resigned himself to sitting in front of his television, trying to find something interesting to watch on Netflix. He knew the new Game of Thrones episode was already out but he always watched them with his best friend, Emma. She had threatened him with the end of their friendship if he ever watched an episode without her and although he'd made the same threat, he knew realistically, he'd never survive without Emma in his life.

Killian first met Emma just before he started college.

He moved to the States with his brother, Liam, when he was 13. After his mother died and his deadbeat father abandoned both his sons in the middle of the night, it was left to Liam, who is 7 years older than Killian, to provide for the brothers. Both boys eventually decided on a fresh start in New York City, where Liam scored a job as a detective while Killian attended school. Four years later, the brothers were doing very well for themselves despite their rocky upbringing and shortly after Liam got married to a fellow detective named Elsa, Killian decided he needed some independence and left home to attend college in Boston.

His transition from New York to Boston was a smooth one and he got on well with his new roommate, Victor Whale and Whale’s friend, David Nolan. Despite the fact that Killian wasn't very social during High School, the trio became fast friends.

The night before classes started was the night he met Emma Swan. It was close to midnight but Killian couldn't sleep; his nervousness about the next day and Victor’s insanely loud snoring were keeping him up. After what seemed like hours spent tossing and turning, Killian gave up and soon found himself in the dorm’s communal kitchen where he met a blonde haired, green eyed lass with sharp wit and a fiery tongue. From the moment he met her, he was entranced by her. She was guarded, that he knew, but she intrigued him. And she was breathtakingly beautiful. He couldn't stop thinking about her after their first meeting and even though they lived in the same dorm, it was weeks before he finally saw her again.

This time he found her in the university library; she was huddled over a history textbook with a mug of hot chocolate on the table beside her. She had looked up and caught his eyes as he walked past, giving him a small smile that made his heart skip a beat, _she truly was a beauty._

They got a lot closer after that day; their groups of friends even integrating when David met and started dating Emma’s best friend, Mary Margret. The closer they got, the more Killian’s feelings for Emma grew but he knew she had walls a mile high to protect herself from getting hurt.

On a rainy afternoon in November, Emma had confided in him about Neal, how she thought he loved her like she loved him but how he only used her to help him steal a case of watches and abandoned her to take to fall for his crime. But Emma got lucky, once the cops figured out Neal was behind the actual crime, she was able to avoid jail time. Killian had listened to Emma’s story with unrestrained angry at the wanker who broke her heart but he'd also come to the conclusion that he could never tell Emma how he really felt about her, she wasn't ready for a relationship and she'd become an important part of his life, he didn't want to risk losing her because he had a crush.

Despite how much he tried, the feelings he had for her never truly went. A year after he met Emma, he even started dating a girl from his class called Milah. Milah was practically the opposite of Emma, brown hair where Emma had blonde, outwardly flirty while Emma was sarcastic. Killian thought dating Milah would provide him with a distraction from his ever growing feelings for Emma but it seemed his feelings only became stronger and Milah began to notice. Six months into their relationship was when they began to fight over it. Milah was jealous of Killian’s friendship with Emma, jealous of how much time they would spend in each ether’s company, despite Killian’s attempts to assure her that nothing was ever going on between them. Killian did care about Milah and he did have feelings for her, but it was different from the way he'd felt about Emma from the moment he met her. Then, after a year of them being together, Milah gave him an ultimatum, either stop being friends with Emma or their relationship was done. Killian knew he couldn't be just another person that ended up abandoning Emma after everything she'd been through but it was more than that, he didn't want a life without her in it and as his relationship with Milah came to an end, he realised that Emma was it for him, he was hopelessly in love with her. In the beginning, he had felt guilty that he'd hurt Milah the way he must have and he even attempted to make things right with her but of course she wouldn't hear it and Killian had soon found out that she had been having an affair with one of the University’s professors towards the end of their relationship, so his guilt quickly dissipated.

Now at 26 years old, his love for Emma is as strong as it was all those years ago. They've become much closer over the years, spending practically ever second when they aren't working with each other but Killian has never worked up the courage to tell Emma of his real feelings, scared that he could lose her as a friend and not willing to live his life without her.

He’s cut off from his musings by his cell phone vibrating on the coffee table. Sighing, he reaches over to answer the call.

“Hello, am I speaking to Killian Jones?” a female voice asks from the other end of the phone.

“Yes, who's this?” he answers warily

“I'm calling from the Massachusetts General Hospital, you're listed as the emergency contact for a Miss Emma Swan,”

As her words sink in, Killian can feel his heart beat erratically in his chest and after a few seconds of painful silence, he is able to work up the courage to speak again “What happened? Is she okay?” his voice cracks on the last word but he doesn't have it in him to be embarrassed.

“Miss Swan was in a car accident,” she says carefully, pausing a moment as if she seems unsure of what else she should say “She's currently being prepped for surgery and we need you to come in,”

Killian was already halfway out the door with his jacket and car keys when he hangs up the phone. He calls David and Mary Margret on his way to the hospital but nothing can stop the wayward thoughts running through his mind, all he can think is that he absolutely can't lose Emma. He doesn't know what he'd do without her by his side every day, without her coming to his house bringing cookies when she knows he's had a particularly hard day, or without the way she fits so perfectly in his embrace. He loves her more than anything and he wishes he'd had the guts to tell her all those years ago, to see where they could be now.

Killian curses at himself for the turn his thoughts have taken, _she's going to be okay, she's going to be okay._ He repeats that like a mantra in his head as he drives like a madman to the hospital.

He arrives at the hospital in record time, rushing to the reception desk to find out what's happening with Emma. He's given little information, just that she's currently in surgery, and it takes Killian all his strength not to punch through the wall of the hospital with his fist because that's his best friend in there and he needs to know that she's gonna be okay. Instead, he simply heads to the hospital’s main waiting room and begins to fill out Emma’s paperwork.

David, Mary Marget and Victor as well as their other two friends: Ruby and Belle, eventually join him as they wait out any information on Emma’s condition. Killian becomes so anxious that he begins pacing back and forth in the hospital waiting room.

“She's going to be okay, Killian,” Mary Margret says softly from her place leaning onto David, her head on his shoulder.

Killian doesn't stop his pacing but does glance at her from the corner of his eye. She must see something in his expression because she smiles in an attempt at reassurance but he can still see the worry lacing his friend’s expression. Mary Margret has always been someone who never lets go of hope no matter the situation and seeing her so worried is disconcerting - Killian feels his stomach twist.

“We’re all worried, Killian,” Belle says “But Emma’s a survivor, she'll make it out of this, you shouldn't stress yourself out like this,”

He knows his friends are right, Emma is strong, if anyone could make it out of something like this, it would be her. But that still doesn’t erase the worry he feels that they've been here an hour and have yet to learn anything about what's happening with her.

Belle signs and shoots a look at Ruby, who drops the magazine she was reading and stands up, coming to stand directly in front of Killian’s path. She plants her hands on his shoulders and fixes him with a look of concern.

“Listen to me,” Ruby begins softly “You're scared, I'm scared, hell, everyone’s scared but worrying and stressing won’t help Emma or yourself, for that matter. Now will you please sit; all of your pacing is making me dizzy,”

She doesn't make to move until Killian reluctantly nods his head and sits in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs with his head down.

It's another tense couple of minutes before a doctor finally arrives to inform them that Emma made it out of surgery.

“It didn't look so good at first,” the doctor explains sourly “She coded once but we were able to bring her back. She's got some broken ribs, her leg is broken and a deep gash on her head and on her left arm but the surgery was successful and she should make a full recovery,”

The entire group breaths a sigh of relief at the doctor’s words as they follow her to Emma’s room. As they're walking, David breaks apart from Mary Margret and falls into step beside Killian.

“I know how you're feeling,” David says.

Killian raises an eyebrow at his friend in question.

“Remember when Mary Margret went into labour?” at Killian’s nod, David continues “They told me there was some complications and there was a chance that one of them might not make it,”

He does remember how broken David was at the news that he might lose his wife and child “I'm sorry, mate, I can't imagine how hard that must've been,”

David nods “But they're okay now, both healthy. Point is, I get it. It's hard when you think you might lose the person you love,”

Killian abruptly stops walking at David’s words “You know?”

His friend doesn't stop walking but turns around and flashes him a wide smile “You're not exactly subtle with it, buddy,”

Killian feels himself smile for the first time all day and hurries to catch up to the rest of his friends.

When they finally make it to Emma’s room, Killian wants to sob when he sees her. She looks so pale and fragile with all the tubes and wires connected to her and hooked to all those hospital machines. The doctor leaves them as the group fusses over an unconscious Emma. Victor, a last year medical student, studies Emma’s chart intently.

“The doctor was right,” he eventually says with a nod “She's going to be fine. They've bumped up her pain meds for the moment so when she wakes up, she'll be a little out of it,”

The group stays for the rest of the afternoon and evening. When a nurse tells them visiting hours are over and unless they're family, they can't stay, Killian snaps at her, telling her that Emma doesn't have any family other than them and as the others fail to suppresses their laughter at the nurses shocked face, the nurse agrees to look the other way.

In the late hours of the night, one by one, everyone starts to leave. David and Mary Margret need to get home to their son Leo, who they've left with their neighbour and occasional babysitter, Ashley. Victor needs to catch some sleep before a big test he's taking tomorrow and Ruby has an early shift at the diner she works at. For a little bit, it's just Killian and Belle left, alternating between Belle’s encouraging words and silence between the two until Belle soon takes her leave too, not before bringing him a cup of coffee after he refuses to leave or sleep until Emma wakes up.

As night gives way to early morning, Killian is just starting to doze off when he hears Emma move in her bed. When he glances at her, she's blinking her eyes open a little. She looks utterly confused as she looks around the room and when her eyes finally land on him, he thinks he could cry with relief. Her eyes are the same bright green that he remembers captivating him during their first meeting. She blinks at him a few times before she finally speaks.

“Killian?” she croaks a little.

“Oh, Swan, I’m right here,” he moves to sit right by her as she tries and fails to sit up, huffing in frustration and pouting in an utterly adorable way.

“What happened?” she asks him when she's found a suitable position to lie down.

He remembers Whale’s words about the effect the pain meds have on her so he keeps his voice as soft as possible to provide her with an explanation to her inquiry.

“You were in a car accident, love,” at her alarmed expression, he adds hastily “but you're okay now, you're going to make a full recovery,”

She pouts again “How do you know that? You're not a doctor, I could be dying here,”

He suppresses a laugh at her dramatics, opting to give her hand a reassuring squeeze “The doctor that treated you told me that you're going to be okay,”

At the mention of her doctor, Killian begins to wonder if he should go and get someone to look over her now that she's awake but he is so reluctant to leave her side after the events of the day that he can't bring himself to get up.

Emma nods, seemingly satisfied with his response to her previous question “How long have you been here?”

He scratches at a spot behind his ear as he answers “A few hours,”

“Oh Killian, you should've gone home, you didn't need to stay,”

“I wanted to stay,” he explains with a shrug “And I don't think it would've been right that you wake up alone,”

She gives him a wide smile, even as a few tears slip from her eyes. Killian thinks the meds may have made her extra emotional as in the eight years he's known Emma, she's probably cried all of three times. “That's so sweet. Thank you,”

“Think nothing of it, love,”

They fall into comfortable silence for a few minutes; Emma idly playing with Killian’s fingers before she suddenly asks “Killian, why are you so perfect?”

Confused at her sudden outburst, and the actual question, Killian ducks his head to hide his growing blush from her, scratching behind his ear again. It's a habit he picked up from his brother during his childhood, something he does when he's nervous or embarrassed. Her compliment doesn't fail to increase the rate of his pulse. He thinks she's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, if anyone is perfect, it’s her.

“I don't know what you mean, Swan,” he mumbles, keeping his gaze lowered.

“You're just.. everything about you is perfect,” she sighs a little and he finally looks up again to find her watching him with a fond expression on her face. He doesn't know how to answer her but she seems oblivious to his stunned silence as she carries on talking anyway, “You know I love you, right?”

“And I love you, too,”

They’ve told each other they loved each other a few times during their friendship, in short fleeting moments like when he brings her her favourite lunch from Granny’s when she's too busy to stop and eat or when he brings coffee to her place on the days he knows she has to wake up ungodly early. Those moments that she throws the words at him without thinking not knowing that the words tend to echo in his head for days after they are spoken.

Killian lets out a long breath. Her words have left his heart beating rapidly in his chest and all he thinks is that he's glad he's not the one hooked up to a heart monitor lest the entire hospital hear the effect she always has on him.

Emma is shaking her head when he looks at her again “You don't love me like I love you,” she says with a frown.

He sucks in a breath at her words. She doesn't mean what he thinks she does, does she? Does she love him? He has a thousand thoughts running through his head as he watches Emma play with his fingers again, the frown still prominent on her face. He wants to believe she loves him in the same way he's always loved her but a voice in the back of his head tells him it's just the pain medication talking and she doesn't really know what she's saying.

He opens his mouth to say.. something, but what? That he loves her the same way, always has, always will? In the end, all that comes out is a whispered “What way do you love me?”

Emma drops his hand and her vibrant sea foam eyes wander until she's staring up at the ceiling. For a few moments she's silent, just absentmindedly chewing her bottom lip. Killian is content to just sit and wait for her to speak again, his heart hammering in anticipation.

“I just love you. More than anything in this world,” she says drowsily, rubbing her eyes. He suddenly feels that he's taken advantage of her induced state to get her to lay her feelings out in the open to him but his guilt is quickly overtaken by the feeling of utter euphoria that threatens to take over his entire being at her words. She actually loves him! She loves him in the same way he's always loved her and it's everything he's ever dreamed of.

But before he can come up with an appropriate way to relay everything he's currently feeling, she shifts a little and offers him a small smile “Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for everything,” she shifts again and closes her eyes. Moments later her breathing evens out as she drifts off to sleep.

He's left staring at her for so long after she's fallen asleep trying to make sense of all the thoughts currently running through his mind. He can't get her words out of his head. _I just love you._ He doesn't know how long he just sits there, replaying their whole conversation in his head over and over. She loves him. He wants to scream it at the top of his lungs so everyone knows. He wants to hug her and never let her go. He wants to kiss her and let her feel every inch of passion and love he's felt for her over the years of their friendship. He wants to spend every waking moment with her, to fall asleep and wake up with her beside him. He wants a future with her, the rest of his life.

He manages to fall asleep at some point but thoughts of Emma linger in his dreams. He dreams of what their future could look like and he dreams about how different their past could've been had they been confident enough to share their feelings. He still has a lingering doubt in the back of his head that says the medication is what caused her to say what she did and that she doesn't truly feel anything for him. But he shoves those thoughts far away and decides, like Mary Margret, to keep having hope that things can work out between them.

When he wakes, the sun is shining through the blinds of the hospital room and he groans as he stands to stretch out his muscles. When he finally blinks open his eyes, he finds that Emma is awake and is just watching him. She turns her head when she realises that she's been caught staring, a lovely blush colouring her cheeks.

“Good morning, love,” Killian says as he sits down beside her again.

“Good morning,” the smile on Emma’s face doesn't fail to brighten the entire room.

“How are you feeling?”

“I'm kinda hungry,” Emma says wrinkling her nose adorably.

Killian chuckles and just as he's about to get up to find a nurse or doctor, there's a soft knock on the door and the same doctor who was treating her yesterday walks in. As the doctor goes about checking Emma’s vitals and asking her questions, Killian texts their friends to let them know that Emma is awake and doing good. Everyone, save Victor, who Killian knows is now in the middle of his exam, texts back to say they'll be at the hospital as soon as possible. Emma’s doctor has called a nurse to bring over breakfast before explaining her change in pain medication to them both.

“Last night, the pain medication you were administered was significantly higher than normal due to your injuries.” she begins “and as we didn't know how you would begin to recover, we didn't want to risk slowing your recovery down. But you seem to be doing well, so we’ve toned it down for now,”

The doctor busies herself with writing a few things on Emma’s chart and hands the chart to the nurse who brings food to the room. After a few more words about asking for more medicine if she needs it, the doctor takes her leave.

Emma slowly starts to eat what was placed in front of her, not so subtly avoiding Killian's eyes as she does so. He can't help but be a little nervous at the way she seems to be avoiding him. He doesn't know if she remembers what she said last night or if he was right in believing it was just the drugs talking. He suddenly feels a heavy weight on his heart at the possible rejection he may get from the women he's loved for so long. He's desperate to find out what she really feels but is too anxious to broach the subject first.

After another few minutes of awkward silence between them, Killian finds that he can't stand this and decides he is done being scared of telling her his feelings so he eventually breaks it “I can leave, if you want me to,”

Of course he doesn't want to leave her but if that's what she wants, he'll respect her wishes. Emma’s head snaps up at his words, her eyes wide.

“I don't want you to leave,” she says with absolutely sincerity and he feels himself smile with relief.

He moves to sit closer to her, picking up her hand and playing with her fingers in the same way she did to him.

He takes a deep breath to steel his nerves before finally gathering the courage to bring up the subject he's been dying to talk to since it happened “About last night..” he begins softly.

She doesn't seem surprised by what he's just said, keeping her eyes locked to his and replying in an equally soft tone “What about it?”

“Did you mean what you said or was it just the drugs talking?”

She turns her face away from him, her cheeks and the tips of her ears turning an endearing shade of pink. He's waiting on the edge of his seat for her answer, his heart hammering in his chest.

“The drugs just helped me tell you what I've always been too much of a coward to say,” she whispers her reply so quietly he probably wouldn't have heard her if he wasn't waiting on baited breath for her every word. He lets out a breath he didn't even realise he was holding as her words sink in.

She keeps her face away from his as she continues to speak “I think I've loved you from the moment we met, but I was always too scared that I'd get hurt to say anything at first. And now it's been so long and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us because I know you don't feel the same..”

“Woah, wait, you think I don't feel the same?” he asks incredulously.

Emma finally turns to face him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion“Well, yeah,”

He picks up her hand, lacing their fingers together, careful to avoid doing anything that could hurt her. The sound of her heart beating through the heart monitor somewhat calms him and with a steady voice, Killian puts his feelings out there for once “Emma, the first time I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful women in the entire world, I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. Hell, even now you're constantly on my mind. I love you. I always have and I always will,”

There are tears in her eyes and she's squeezing his hand so tightly “What about Milah?” she asks in a shaky voice.

This was something he did expect her to ask.

“When you told me about Neal, I knew it wasn't right for me to tell you of my feelings, I didn't think you were ready for that and I didn't think you felt anything for me. I didn't want to lose you out of my life, even if that meant I'd just stay your friend and nothing more. So I stupidly thought getting over my feelings would help,” she huffs a laugh at that but stays quiet as he carries on “Milah was just an attempt to try just that. I cared about her a lot, I won't lie about that but it was nothing compared to what I feel for you, what I've always felt. And when Milah tried to get me to chose between the two of you, it was easily one of the simplest decisions I could ever have made,”

“You chose me over her?”

“Of course, love. I can't imagine a life without you,”

The tears begin flowing freely at this point and Killian reaches over and uses his thumb to softly brush them away from her cheeks. 

They're smiling at each other giddily when the full weight of their words sink in. Ever so slowly, Killian and Emma begin to inch toward each other before _finally_ meeting halfway for a heartfelt kiss. Years of pent up longing, love and desire pour into a kiss that seems to last for hours. They're clinging to each other; Emma gripping his shoulders and Killian with one hand tangled in her long golden hair and the other around her waist as the kiss turns heated. They feel the love flow between them now as they tug each other closer, unwilling to let the other go.

“Finally!” a loud voice booms from the doorway.

Emma and Killian break apart and turn to see Ruby standing at the doorway, a smug expression on her face.

“I knew this would happen eventually,” Ruby cheers, turning to where Mary Margret and Belle are standing behind her, looking equal parts embarrassed on their behalf and amused at Ruby’s antics.

Emma blushes and buries her head onto Killian’s shoulder to hide her face, not willing to part from him now. He seems just as desperate to keep her close, his hand moves to rest on the small of her back as he pulls her to him.

Their friends settle themselves around the two of them while Ruby tells the elaborate story of how all their friends knew they were in love with each other and were just waiting for them to figure it out on their own and get together. Mary Margret gives Emma an apologetic smile as the group recounts stories of them over the years and how obvious their feelings were. David and Victor eventually join the ‘party’ with stories of their own from their college years about how hard Killian would ‘pine’ for Emma, much to Killian’s embarrassment.

“I love you,” Emma whispers to him amidst all their friends’ laughter

“And I love you,” Killian whispers back “my beautiful Swan,”

  
Emma is discharged from the hospital a few days later. Killian insists that she stay with him so that he can help her out. But he doesn't tell her how much he enjoys taking care of her.

When she fully recovers a few weeks later, they both decide that these last few weeks have been the best of their lives so they decide to officially move in together.

They go on their first real date after they move in to celebrate how far they've come and they show each other just how much they love each other that night.

And when Killian proposes to Emma on their two year anniversary while on a trip to Greece, she doesn't hesitate to say yes!

 

**Author's Note:**

> When I was writing this, I realised I'd actually written it in the present tense instead of the past tense which was how I'd planned to write it originally. I decided to just leave it how it was but I don't know if it would've been better if I'd changed it. As I said before, this is my first proper attempt at writing so I know it's not gonna be perfect but if you guys have any tips on how to improve my writing style, I'd love to hear them. Please let me know what you thought of this story, thanks loves. :)


End file.
